We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Return Of The Mayo Man

by M-Fap

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
I got crêpes cooking up on the oven Yeah man, just cause I be lovin’ Breakfast for every meal of the day Never boring always find a new way I got crepes cooking up on the oven Yeah man, just cause I be lovin’ Breakfast for every meal of the day Never growing up, no no way Sippin syrup the maple kind Canadian, that’s how I fine dine Gonna make my way to the desert Aunt Jemima, Ha! Barely a start Three bottles in, haven’t finished cooking the pancakes Now is the debate, do I have time to masterbate Chokin’ the chicken before I scramble the eggs And I don’t mean the one’s in between my legs Unless you’re talking about the cock reference Talking in riddles has its consequences Now I know I’m taking a detour But ain’t that always been the allure Of the M-Fap brand it's beyond the sound And for watching a man beating it while cooking in a wedding gown I’m an experience one has to see to believe And once you do, you just might wanna leave
2.
Ah, you’ve found me, I’m not as fresh as you thought Rotten to the core I’m not you want to be caught With even if you are the one to be doing the catching You’ll quick be a relenting, cause Silly little rabbit, M-Fap isn’t for kids Or adults, or really anyone with locks safely on the lid Of their inner pandora’s box, a world of demons I’ve already let them out, this ain’t no religion But I guess that’s how we really got here in the first place It’s sort of a simple fascination with distaste A colosseum composed of false desires Created as we try to elevate ourselves farther Into a made up oblivion we all esteem Drifting through irrelevancies like a dream Grasping at a false point none can reach The endless carrot whose only purpose is to provide A grand deception under which we all hide It's the reason we accept this decrepit state Washed in with love and gold, shit and hate Knowingly participating in the disgustingly distasteful Our lives are endlessly streams of wasteful Indulgences meant to cover up past infractions But we just keep building them like a mountain Echoing concerns of the legibility of my identity Don’t you know I’m really just the enemy Split sections of my personality co-existing in one frame A walking spontaneous combustion gone completely insane Lost in the sins, of all that has been, And is to come, for all that is to be done, Some might consider me a bit headstrong But I like to think that I’m the real Anton
3.
Ah yeah, you’re just one of a kind I just can’t seem to get you off my mind Your sweet taste drippin all over me You’re a fine liquor, and you’re practically free Your my sweet luxury that keeps me at bay Without you I don’t know how I’d behave The jury's in and you are a fine dessert Meant to be served at the king's court Flick of my finger, some mad majestic maneuvers Having a good time, with this Vancouver cougars Their man's out on the club tonight While he's got some honey, I'm fucking her tight Little pussy, kegels are really something When you're use to lose little 20 somethings So many mad nights of mature impurity Like an aged wine getting the best of me, Disorderly conduct done with such grace The way I rub my semen all over her face It makes you just wanna go take a taste However if you want me to stay buy me a case Of mad men's moonshine it's how I stay one of a kind I don't wanna go fine dining down in your dirty rinds If I don't have my mental lubrication down tight You know what I need baby right? I want it tight, but I have to take a sip right? You think you seen something, it’s quite a sight But baby I’m telling you it’s half the story So go get my moon waterz before I worry Sippin on shine, like it's holy waters Living in the drank time, am I seeing two sisters? I'm ready to kill the pussy Gone by the morn, I'm free and flighty Cruising, my stomach won’t stop churnin' My perception of time just keeps on slurrin' Expensive tastes on a beggar's budget You'd be surprised to see how I brew it Holy hell, I’m at it again, on the fence should I tip the wagon Roar like a dragon, fuck like a dog with a piece of bacon Woah! Hold back, I’ve been doing to much drinkin’ When my legs say I should be dancing Which is about the time I remember whereabouts I am Cruising in the back of a black sedan And this is only after a few swigs After the bottle, only imagine the shindig That I could produce, procure, pull out of thin air The freakier, the stranger, the more the merrier
4.
Able minded transportation makes a country free, A vagrant at heart, nomadic is how some say I be, Obnoxious is another one of those things But I’m just feisty, I don’t mean to be annoying Cause when a cat’s got your tongue, I’ll say my piece I won’t wait for the silence to clear to verbalise And that don’t make me a drunk if I wanna speak up I just refuse to never take hold, and try to shake up Our propped up theatrics played out by neurotics Waves of blame reflecting pill popping hypocrites Fuck it’s why I drink my water in the first place So don’t tell me you wanna take a sniff or a taste Cause I can tell you right now this fire ain’t for you You’d go belly up if you even basked in the aroma of my brew The shit I drink is more psychedelic than ayahuasca After a sip and a blink I’m almost straight in a coma You know what I say, or maybe you don’t I’ll inform you, “this fucking holy waters is dope” So I take my last sip, and drive my car, right into this ditch I’m ready to leave this tale in a tight pinch Ego so high you'd need an space elevator to reach it Don't you know I use mayo as lubricant Up in orbit, living high got no regrets If you can catch me baby, I'll certainly make you wet Grin beaming wide, some think I'm ingenuine But I can tell you now friend, my eagerness I depend on Ain't no emoji, just got a lot going tumbling in my mind, and My blended up emotions, they just keep on twisting and combinin' So I just take things day by day, each moment stride by stride Unwilling or probably just incapable of trying to hide Gotta put the game face man, yeah or else I'll just cry Not going out without a fight man, that will not be how I die Taller than a sasquatch and hairier on my crotch I'll crotchet my pubes into a quilt, just watch Pesticide resistant naturally by design I could inject glyphosate straight to the veins
5.
Flippin' burgers, like I'm flippin' smack, I always wanted to be a dealer, but I had no tact, So McDonald's became the only real game, And no one played it better than you know the name, So watch out it's an M-Fap attack, Always ready to wolf back three big macs, I'm always broke but seem to got doe to spend It doesn't matter to me about how I depend Or what flare I disguise my underwear with Pink frills and diamond grillz Paid off? Nah, I got debts and bills Lining up ready to devour me I’m just another piece of fresh meat Cause all the money goes to pointless things Nothing but guns and platinum rings Whitest faker alive, you’ll never see a better kind, I am the realest playa, I’m just one of a kind, Always on the fringe, people see my life and cringe Look at my habits, might as well have a syringe Broke with expensive wastes Or that’s how its viewed externally You ain’t really lookin' from my place So why do you keep bothering me? I’m not the real problem But all the blame is cast down Take a look at your own state And the truth will finally be shown The way that I'm viewed, I'm worse than a junkie At least some of them have money perpetually You need dough to feed the dragon The only thing I be chasing Is a dream a little existential Don't subscribe to pharmaceuticals, sorry I haven't bought into the capitalist vision Only get what I need, do the bare minimum Don’t lack empathy, got my priorities So don’t go and be fucking with me Some find me safe, but I’m on fire I'm not dead yet, you’re not off the wire Got a monsoon of emotion ready to outpoor Raging down from above, right from the stars
6.
Boogeyman 02:58
You can look around but not everything is measurable Despite our attempts, we can’t quite prove it all That doesn’t mean that there’s nothing behind the veil The truth is we need a complete spiritual upheaval Our way of life is completely unforgivable Before we know we will all fall Right through the cracks, that we have created If only the millennia of warnings we abated So reconsider cruelty, the end is upon us open your eyes You only support Yahweh's will when you’re blind Silent contemplation, vision-inducing meditation The lord of flies is in your mind, god is the boogeyman At last, the hour hath come around To the altar stone, my head is bowed Aggression, murder, madness, sacrifice, I’ve given in to all of my vices Candles burning alone, at home in the catacombs Everlasting rows of the most satanic of tomes Works of the most patriotic of witchcraft Authentic dark arts power in hand at last Frightening predictions have begun to come True as I learn that I’m the devil’s son Unsettling revelations, surprisingly refreshing As reality crumbles under closer examination Moderation was never part of the testimonial If you want to join the damned you go off the handle Completely lose your shit, descend into madness When only you can see it there’s no interference Darkness will take its hold before you're old Don’t expect many more years, you’re tale is told Our end is come close, prepare to enter the cold Arms of the abyss as you slowly fade to nothingness
7.
Visions 02:30
Optimized interactions guided by automation methods Feelin’ like a golem guided by a higher presence Autonomous, not so sure, programming could be wicked Instinctually left to believe something’s worth being saved Dependent on spiritual software so I can commute If this is a simulation, I want it to reboot Champion of oppressed, I’m always trying my best, But it's getting harder to care when everyone fades like rust I’m just standing here contemplating my existence Whether free will is just another religious experience Beamed from a consciousness, but not necessarily from us We seem to have this perpetual arrogance Believing that we discovered the process of thought When it's really the thought in which we get caught Every second counts, but every second burns So my friend what have we learned? Visions from the future, things don’t get any clearer Really did I expect them to get better? Haven’t I been attended this mystery school of pain Beginning, middle, and end is always been suffering Bursting with tremendous potential Never reaching maturity we all fall to the battle Internal forces relaying friction, internal static ringing Piercing through my ears even as I’m denying Any formal acknowledgment to the extraction process Of my subconscious trying to locate what I suppress Sometimes it feels like a matter of life and death As I dig deeper, will this be my last breath? Some realizations end up becoming so consuming They devour you before you get to understanding What you’ve truly got laid in front of your eyes So turn the page, don’t let it be a surprise Forever, you got a paddle down the river Eventually, you tip, are you a sinker or swimmer?
8.
The common origin of why we’re falling apart Its because we’ve been built on atrocity from the start Regardless of your opinion the facts are in We’re all slaves living in a mass plantation You don’t need to be black we’re all just niggas If you don’t got the cash you’ll never be player You can call me a racist, but you can’t erase this I know you want to, but it's getting hard to suppress us Got the bad taste of piss in your mouth As you just accept the the new continual drought Terrified of these bankers, politicians, and globalists You’ve given them the keys, allowed them to ruin this Beautiful planet our home we so depend on Instead of actually giving some recognition To our increasingly desperate situation The state of which is starting to look far gone We need to make a change, one that seems impossible If we worked together we could be unstoppable Don’t you think we could live forever If we put all of our minds together Minds together, our minds together Broken moments shatter expectations We are in a time of trials and tribulations No indulgence will go unrecognized Time takes its toll even if we close our eyes Ignoring the facts will only drive us so far Slow down, or we’ll burn out before our star Like a lethal phenomenon we destroy all of the Very things from which we’re all depending Full speed death march no one staring at the ending Until it's too late and we’re all just falling Trapped in a state that never provides Instead just suppressed and tries to hide From us the fundamental fabrics of our humanity Shattering our attention, and driving us away From the very connection that we need to uprise Instead we willingly eat up all the lies The obvious “accident” we’ve all been subjected A course set by our grandparents And I know we’re supposed to respect our elders But it's hard when they destroyed our world of splendors

about

Not quite able-bodied, and certainly degenerate in mind and spirit, this friendly little fucker known as M-Fap is prepared once again to bring you on a wild journey through psychedelics eccentricities. Take a step into weird world that is the Fapverse, as you cook crêpes in the nude, drink alcohol more psychedelic then ayahuasca, and take a scare with the boogeyman, you can find all of this and so much more on the Fap's brand new album... Check it out!

Released through The Infidel Netwerk musician, artist, and philosopher collective:
www.theinfidelnetwerk.com

Follow me on my official Facebook for all my latest happenings:
www.facebook.com/therealmfap/

Get the M-Fap "Nothing Butt Beast" T-Shirt, Hoodie, Pillow and more on the official Infidel Netwerk Redbubble Merchandise Store:
www.redbubble.com/people/infidelnetwerk/works/25596534-nothing-butt-beast?asc=f

credits

released June 8, 2018

Vocals, lyrics, beats, production, mixing, and mastering by Matt "theProphet" Smith

Check out Matt's other projects
Jenova Project: bit.ly/1VfYgll
Transhumanist at: bit.ly/1QpCNhI
Izkrist at: bit.ly/23V6st6
Ultra LHT Voyeur at: bit.ly/2o2gzMq
LICH vs Jenova Project at: bit.ly/2o26xeg

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

M-Fap Langley, British Columbia

Enter the tricky, slippery, slope that is the mind of the mysterious M-Fap. A labyrinth of indulgence, confusion, and secrets that can bring both great reward, or great peril. This is a domain of whimsical madness, plagued by entertaining yet terrifying concepts, that threaten to leave the witness changed (and possibly scarred) forever. Enter at your own peril, and witness the Fap's broken theater ... more

contact / help

Contact M-Fap

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like M-Fap, you may also like: