Rimmed fanny pack, strapped across my back,
Bulging like my sack, with mayo’ and ketchups packs,
Prepared to dash and dine at any situation,
I don’t pack any change, just an array concession napkins,
McDonald’s is the easiest prey of choice,
Sit in the side, leave my piss to be cleaned by Joyce,
As soon as they ask to pay, I look oblivious and say,
“Why I hope you folks have a might fine day”,
And then I walk out, pretend like they don’t even notice,
What you gonna do with such confidence and focus,
To be a fool, asshat, complete disgrace,
Sometime’s it’s easier to put on a better face,
Then chase down the lunatic for some loose change,
Who knows what’ll happen if you try to share the stage,
With the man who’ll go up and piss on your carpet,
Then have the arrogance to go for another hit,
Combination speedball, alcohol, cocaine,
Bringing psychedelics right to my brain,
That makes me go insane, opt out of the game,
But it don’t matter, I’ve always had a disdain.

I’m an ancient entity with ginormous capabilities
Blatant and brilliant, I’m upfront constantly
Dormant till I’m flippant, don’t judge my abilities
Until you come face to face with this brute’s agility
There’s no placeholder for this breadwinner
I’m a producer, provider, and complete devourer
How do you think you’re gonna stand on two feet
When I’m the real fucking man

I’m the cream cheese pimp, I’m gonna walk with a limp
If I don’t got my sweet creamy drink I sip
A mixture of dairy, meat, and the finest lean,
Juiced up to maximize the living dream
Slink and slurp my way to the advantage
This old dog get’s better with mileage
I’m always ready to assemble a voyage
Never will I be the one to discourage
A culinary adventure of the finest decadent
Sweet savory delights will be my entrapment
Indiscriminate of sausage or porridge
Mix and match all you gotta do is have courage
Gonna pillage the fridge like a christian village
Like the vikings, decimate an ungodly percentage
Savage and ravage I’m ready to do damage
Ransacking the buffet to my ultimate advantage
Behind me in line? You’re getting shafted son
No chances on the desert, the digestion begun
Acknowledge what you pretend to be capable
But now watch a real man completely derail